Oh boy, have I got a treat for you!

Today, we are going to be watching the best Lazytown music videos and then voting for our favorite.

The outcome of this poll is very important for the welfare of future generations, so be sure to vote honestly.

Yes, you may think these videos suck. But I assure you, once you watch the first video you won’t be able to stop.

For those of you wondering, the little girl is named Julianna Rose Mauriello. Here’s an interview with her on Icelandic television:

Ok boys and girls, it’s time to do your duty:

George Lucas is a rather unassuming, bearded fellow who lives entirely on coke and candy bars. Somehow, this man managed to produce the greatest series of postmodern art films ever created, and then turn around and ignite the indignant passions of the very people that catapulted him to stardom – the Star Wars fanbase.

Thirty years ago, with the release of Star Wars in 1977, George Lucas became a hero to millions of 12 year old boys. Now, in 2007, he sucks. Let me tell you why:

1. Greedo shoots first. In the original version, Han Solo shoots Greedo first, under the table. In the 1997 Special Edition version, George Lucas makes Greedo shoot first from point blank range (and miss). Then Han shoots him in retaliation afterwards. This led to an online petition demanding the changes be retracted.

In the 2004 DVD release, the disputed scene was altered again to have Solo and Greedo shooting at almost the same time (though Greedo still shoots first). The 2004 DVD release also altered the scene to where Han “dodges” the shot by digitally leaning him to the side.

The 2006 DVD had two versions — the 2004 changes and the original theatrical version. The theatrical version features no changes, including Han Solo shooting first without Greedo firing a shot. When announcing the dual version DVDs, Lucasfilm made note of the fact that the controversial scene was included by saying: “…and yes, see Han Solo shoot first.” This is just one of the many revisions he continues to make to the movies and storyline.

2. Jar Jar Binks. Named by George Lucas’s son, this abomination was put into Star Wars Episode I to provide comic relief. I don’t remember laughing.

Jar Jar was widely rejected and often ridiculed by the fanbase. Lucas’ animation team even warned him that Jar Jar was coming across poorly and that there was concern over how the character was to be projected. Lucas responded by saying that he put Jar Jar in the film specifically to appeal to children. The issue was then forever dropped.

3. Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker. Many felt he acted the part poorly. But the blame can’t lie entirely with Hayden due to George Lucas’ equally poor script. The love scenes were entirely too forced, unnatural, and too obviously scripted. If anyone wants a citation for this, go watch the prequels.

Furthermore, Lucas felt that replacing the spirit of Anakin with Hayden in the 2004 DVD release of Return of the Jedi was justifiable. This created further controversy.

4. Ewoks. Many Star Wars fans objected to these furry little beasts. In fact, some consider the ape-like chipmunks to be the beginning of Lucas’ “fall from grace.�

5. Jake Lloyd as Anakin Skywalker. A terrible choice on Lucas’ part. The kid was just annoying. This is evidenced by the fact that he received nominations for Worst Supporting Actor and Worst Screen Couple (Jake Lloyd and Natalie Portman) at the Golden Raspberry Awards.

6. Lucas is a bad director and an even worse screenwriter. The Empire Strikes Back is arguably the best Star Wars movie, yet it was directed by Irvin Kershner; Lucas did not write the screenplay either. Also, many people feel that the more involved Lucas becomes with a Star Wars movie, the worse it becomes. He received nominations for Worst Director and Worst Screenplay at the Razzie Awards.

Additionally, while directing the original Star Wars, his only directions were “faster” or “more intense”. At one point, when he temporarily lost his voice, the crew provided him with a board with just those three words written on it

7. He’s arrogant. Even when confronted by the poor quality of his screenwriting, he puts the blame on his audience rather than himself: “People take it different ways, depending on their sophistication.�

8. He might be a control freak. One example is that the author of the Revenge of the Sith novelization dedicates his book to George Lucas. Yet the book is copyrighted by the aptly named company, Lucasfilm. The real owner of the book dedicates the book to himself, the owner.

9. Overuse of CGI. Lucas apparently had an obsession with using CGI for nearly everything. In fact, it was somewhat of an irritation for the production staff. “He directs in the editing room,” one said. Hardly a frame of film was shot that he didnt recompose later using computers. Many fans feel that Lucas overuses CGI, and that in many cases more traditional special effects or film making techniques would be easier, and indeed preferable.

Paris Whitney Hilton, heiress to the Hilton Hotel fortune, is a well-known celebrity who has done many things during her short life like inherit a lot of money and, well… that’s about it. Known for her quick wit and sparkling personality, she dazzles the press corps and paparazzi alike with her wispy, stick-like figure.

Nicknamed “Paste” in some circles, for her ability to down large quantities of Elmer’s glue, she flaunts her wealth by disregarding traffic signals while under the influence. After bribing 75% of the Los Angeles Police Department, she almost managed to avoid jailtime after violating the terms of her probation. That, combined with her predilection for encouraging young children to produce amateur sex tapes, leads me to conclude that she might suck more than just Rick Salomon’s Johnson.

1. Her claim to fame is a sex tape. She would probably still be a relative unknown had she not let her boyfriend film her while giving head. And fame-through-sex-tape is not exactly something that should be promoted as a legitimate path to success.

2. She’s a spoiled brat. She’s never had to work a day in her life, yet treats people like shit and believes herself to be above everyone else (even though she is I guess).

3. She believes she is above the law. Hey, she’s rich and a celebrity and ignorant, so she doesn’t need to be treated like everyone else!

4. She whined and cried about being imprisoned. Even after putting other people’s lives in danger by being pulled over for drunk driving.

5. She’s a slut. She influences thousands of teenagers and young children.

6. She cries if things don’t go her way, like not getting into a party.

7. She plagiarizes. Even though she has more money than God, she still had to go out and steal a song from the band UB40 and claim it as her own.

8. She appears in the Guinness Book of World Records as the “Most Overrated Celebrity.�

9. She’s a racist and homophobic bigot. She uses racial epithets and homophobic marks. There’s no telling how often she expresses her racism, but it obviously happens enough to be caught on video.

10. She’s lazy. Paris Hilton was fired by the owner of Club Paris after failing to attend several scheduled appearances. A club she had lent her own name to.

11. She thinks her “dumb act� is just an act. Sorry honey, it’s reality.

Rachael Ray is a sort of blimpish television personality that hosts a bunch of tv shows about eating and cooking; two endeavors for which she is apparently well-suited. After writing a series of cookbooks based on cooking meals in 30-minutes, she catapulted to stardom and now makes millions by telling thousands of people how to throw a bunch of food into a bowl.

The secret to her success is three-fold: acting ditzy and bubbly until the audience is sufficiently nauseous, mashing “ingredients” together in order to proclaim the discovery of a new recipe, and convincing people to buy overpriced cooking utensils manufactured by malnourished children in sweatshops (this may or may not be true). While most people might think this behavior is admirable, I believe it sucks, and so does she.

1. She giggles like a retarded schoolgirl, endlessly. Her laugh will often go on for far too long, almost as if she’s trying too hard to be cute. Watch her laugh at the 00:35 second mark.

2. She repeats herself, constantly. Yes Rachael, we heard you the first time.

3. Her catchphrases are grating, worn out and annoying. Oh my gravy!

4. She wildly gesticulates with her hands. Overemphasis is an understatement.

5. When she smiles, she looks like The Joker.

6. She constantly reminds her audience that she is Italian. And that her family is Italian, and that her Italian grandparents influenced her cooking, and that since she is Italian she can do anything she wants because she is Italian, and by the way, she is Italian.

7. She lies and exaggerates to trick people into buying her overpriced wares. Here she claims that her stove can cook an item that requires 20 minutes to cook, in 8 minutes. Apparently she can defy the laws of physics.

8. Her “recipes� are just a bunch of “ingredients� thrown into a bowl. She also likes to put olive oil and chicken stock in everything.

9. Her clothes seem to be designed to hide her plump frame.

10. She’s not a real chef. So why is she a credible authority figure on cooking? She even admits it by saying “I’m not a chef, I’m a cook.â€? This makes a lot of sense, too: “I have no formal anything. I’m completely unqualified for any job I’ve ever had.”

11. Her $40 a day show is a scam. Avoiding the fact that she lies about the actual prices she pays, who the hell spends $40 a day on food anyway? Other than Paris Hilton, that is.

12. She seems to talk out of only one side of her mouth, as if the right side of her face is dead.

13. She posed for pinup shots in FHM. She’s not hot enough for something like that.

14. She lies about her 30 minute meals taking 30 minutes. Author Jill Pellettieri went through several of Ray’s “30 Minute Meals” recipes and was unable to complete any meal in under half an hour.