Rachael Ray is a sort of blimpish television personality that hosts a bunch of tv shows about eating and cooking; two endeavors for which she is apparently well-suited. After writing a series of cookbooks based on cooking meals in 30-minutes, she catapulted to stardom and now makes millions by telling thousands of people how to throw a bunch of food into a bowl.
The secret to her success is three-fold: acting ditzy and bubbly until the audience is sufficiently nauseous, mashing “ingredients” together in order to proclaim the discovery of a new recipe, and convincing people to buy overpriced cooking utensils manufactured by malnourished children in sweatshops (this may or may not be true). While most people might think this behavior is admirable, I believe it sucks, and so does she.
1. She giggles like a retarded schoolgirl, endlessly. Her laugh will often go on for far too long, almost as if sheâ€™s trying too hard to be cute. Watch her laugh at the 00:35 second mark.
2. She repeats herself, constantly. Yes Rachael, we heard you the first time.
3. Her catchphrases are grating, worn out and annoying.
4. She wildly gesticulates with her hands. Overemphasis is an understatement.
6. She constantly reminds her audience that she is Italian. And that her family is Italian, and that her Italian grandparents influenced her cooking, and that since she is Italian she can do anything she wants because she is Italian, and by the way, she is Italian.
7. She lies and exaggerates to trick people into buying her overpriced wares. Here she claims that her stove can cook an item that requires 20 minutes to cook, in 8 minutes. Apparently she can defy the laws of physics.
8. Her â€œrecipesâ€? are just a bunch of â€œingredientsâ€? thrown into a bowl. She also likes to put olive oil and chicken stock in everything.
9. Her clothes seem to be designed to hide her plump frame.
10. Sheâ€™s not a real chef. So why is she a credible authority figure on cooking? She even admits it by saying â€œIâ€™m not a chef, Iâ€™m a cook.â€? This makes a lot of sense, too: “I have no formal anything. I’m completely unqualified for any job I’ve ever had.”
11.Her $40 a day show is a scam. Avoiding the fact that she lies about the actual prices she pays, who the hell spends $40 a day on food anyway? Other than
12. She seems to talk out of only one side of her mouth, as if the right side of her face is dead. 13. She posed for pinup shots in FHM. Sheâ€™s not hot enough for something like that.
13. She posed for pinup shots in FHM. Sheâ€™s not hot enough for something like that.
14.She lies about her 30 minute meals taking 30 minutes. Author Jill Pellettieri went through several of Ray’s “30 Minute Meals” recipes and was unable to complete any meal in under half an hour.