I’m afraid I have some bad news for you, readers: Former New York mayor and current Republican presidential primary candidate Rudy Giuliani sucks. Here are some reasons why:
1. He cheated on his wife: It is a well known fact that Rudy Giuliani’s had extra-martial affairs during his previous two marriages. Most famous is his affair with his assistant in Gracie Mansion, whom he had fun with while his wife was at home taking care of the kids.
2. He’s divorced: Giuliani has had two failed marriages. He and his current wife have 6 marriages between the two of them. Not exactly a fantastic track record for reliability.
3. He enriched himself with Saudi Money: Giuliani may have famously rejected a public offer from a Saudi prince who wanted to donate money after 9/11, but the facts show that Giuliani later went on to enrich himself by having his lobbying firm work for Saudi Arabia’s oil ministry.
4. He’s a fear monger: Giuliani recently warned voters that there will be a ‘new 9/11′ if a Democrat is elected president in 2008.
5. Karl Rove is his buddy: White House political advisor Karl Rove has coached Rudy Giuliani on a campaign strategy to use during the 2008 election.
6. He supports torture: Giuliani has stated that he supports the use of waterboarding â€” a technique, defined as torture by the Justice Department, that simulates drowning and makes the subject â€œbelieve his death is imminent while ideally not causing permanent physical damage.â€?
7. He employs child molesters: Monsignor Alan Placa, a longtime Giuliani employee and confidant has been linked to shocking allegations of child sexual abuse and cover-ups. At the time of this posting Placa was still under Giuliani’s employ.
8. He constantly reminds us that he was mayor on 9/11. You were mayor when the terror attacks happened. We don’t need to be reminded about this obvious fact on a daily basis. Stop trying to whore the tragedy of 9/11 for your own political gain.
9. He supports the Iraq War: Not only does he support it, but he also has absolutely no plan on how to improve the situation in Iraq.
10. He’s also willfully ignorant about the Iraq War: Instead of attending his Iraq Study Group meetings, Rudy Giuliani twice gave speeches at “Get Motivated” events, which are daylong programs “infused with Christianity, patriotism and pumping music suitable for aerobics.”
11. He’s a flip-flopper: Giuliani has flip-flopped his views on gun control and abortion, as well as other issues that he needed to change his opinion on for the sake of political popularity.
12. Hugo Chavez funds him: Despite official campaign statements that claim Giuliani “believes Hugo Chavez is not a friend of the United States,” the mayor’s law firm recently lobbied on behalf of one of Chavez’s oil companies and was paid between $100,000 and $200,000.
13. He’s Pro Abortion: Giuliani once supported government funding for abortions. Now he claims that he is merely pro-choice, but even those comments drew some anger from the heavens at a recent debate.
14. He hates ferrets and ferret owners: Giuliani banned ferrets as pets in New York City in 1999. When a ferret owner called into his radio show, Giuliani had an authoritarian anti-ferret tantrum.
15. He profits from privatizing U.S. Highways and selling them off to foreign companies.
16. He cross-dresses.